I DID IT!!!! Yes, all the caps and all the exclamations because I’m proud of myself! I had to fight to finish this challenge. I struggled with self doubt, poor food choices, exhaustion, angry kids, asthma issues due to the fires as well as a bunch of LIFE. I was originally thinking this would be easy compared to the Chloe Ting 2 Week Shred and I was right however as this was longer it presented different challenges. I regret nothing and would encourage everyone to try it as long as your doctor says it is okay.
It took me 1 hour 11 minutes and 8 seconds (1:11:08) to complete this 5k but I did it. It was past 9pm but I finished. I was shaking and crying but I finished. I was having breathing problems but I finished. My knees hurt but I finished. Now my feet are swollen (need different shoes), my hair smells, my kids are crying and the dog feels ignored but I finished. I am currently writing this right after finishing and as tired as I am I feel amazing.
I’m thinking about my next fitness challenge as they seem to keep me motivated and active while inside. I have a vague idea but I know whatever it is, I’ll complete it. I know the scale won’t magically go down a ton without steady healthy eating habits but it is a start and it is contributing to improving my mental health which is extremely fragile. Any little thing I can do to feel amazing, especially if it is free, I’ll do because feeling amazing right now is an accomplishment by itself. With everything going on in the world, I think everyone should find something big or small that makes them feel amazing! Please pick your version of amazing safely ❤
Self-care is all I hear about nowadays. I thought I was doing it accordingly until I realized it started to feel like everything else on my To-Do List. Then it got lost in the day-to-day. Once I was feeling good and burned out, I started to think about self-care again. What is it? How do I set aside enough time for it? What should I do during this self-care? And what’s the difference between self-care and hiding in the bathroom with a book and/or a snack?
Well thanks to my husband forcing me to have alone time, I discovered solo dates!
At first, I didn’t know what to do. I grew increasingly annoyed trying to make a plan. Then I remembered seeing a trailer for The Photograph. I knew hubby didn’t want to see it so I decided I’d go see it by myself. Normally I’m not a romantic movie kind of person but this looked interesting and I liked both actors. On Saturday, I got dressed and ran out the house like a little kid leaving on the last day of school before summer vacation (do they still have that?).
I decided to treat my city as a day trip. I took pictures as I normally would while in a new city. I intended on taking pictures of my movie ticket, food and beverage as well as of myself but I was too busy enjoying myself and only took pictures afterwards. The movie theater only had six other people and they were all couples. Everyone was spread out so I was in the row by myself which felt like having a giant home movie room. The movie was good and I’d recommend it if you want a romantic movie that doesn’t feel too cheesy or painful to watch. Next on my solo day trip was exploring the city; yes still my own city. I Googled nearby introvert friendly places but nothing seemed to catch my attention. I drove around aimlessly until it hit me. The LIBRARY!! It was quiet, introvert friendly and best of all free. I looked for the book I started reading during our cruise; it came from the cruise ship library. Once I got a new library card and asked some questions, I ordered the book and looked for two more. With books in hand and renewed energy, I went to a local chain restaurant, ate then headed home.
My second solo date was easier to plan and a little fancier. I knew I’d be going to an early movie because the ticket is cheaper and the theater is usually 90% empty. I got slightly dressed up, threw my stuff into my purse (no diaper bag for me) and left. I was running late so still no pictures before the movie. This time The Call of the Wild was my movie of choice. It was better than expected and focused on the dog so for me it was perfect. Since I skipped breakfast and popcorn doesn’t fill me up, I decided to go eat. I continued the tourist theme and looked for small independent looking places to go. The first was a restaurant I wanted to go to for a while but they didn’t have any parking available. I defaulted to a small coffee shop instead.
Espresso Metro is the cafe I ended up at. I’d driven by it many times before but never stopped as I was usually looking for something. This time I decided it would be my last stop on my solo date. I went in, told the barista it was my first time there. She recommended food (chicken tamale) and a beverage (custom latte) based on my preferences. The place was quiet but not empty like the theater. I took out my book and began reading. After a few minutes, which turned out to actually be over an hour, I noticed the customers coming and going. It had a pleasant buzz of noise but not too much that I couldn’t ignore. I continued reading until I wanted another drink. This is when I realized the actual time elapsed was a few hours so I concluded it was only right to make another purchase.
I purchased a chai and made small talk with the new barista as the previous one was done for the day. We chatted, I picked up my drink, went back to my table and continued reading. After another hour, I decided to head home. Upon my return, we were able to go out to dinner with just the two of us so it turned into a date night. Dinner and hanging out was the perfect way to end my solo date.
My solo self-care dates won’t always be the same but for now leaving the house with a book, phone charger and an explorers mindset has worked out great<3
Picture this: I used the French Press for coffee (see image below); my Keurig needs to be replaced. I had the television all to myself, the house was quiet and I could think about everything or nothing. Now… the house is awake and you are demanding my attention.
I immediately changed your diaper, washed my hands, gave you gel for your teeth, let your brother outside then nursed you. I was running full speed ahead like my time out was a daydream. As I was nursing you, I felt the same battle raging within me on a loop. Do I relax and enjoy a mommy time out? Or do I take care of my to do list without interruption? I can’t do one without thinking about the other. So right there with you on my boob I realized I must find balance.
I don’t know how to turn off the part of my brain that says you must do everything. I don’t know how to enjoy one without regretting not doing the other. The only thing I can do without regret is take everyone’s advice about enjoying every minute with you. I try to hold on to the precious moments with you because I know they won’t last forever but I still need to find time and balance between all the roles I have. The only way to really be a good mom is to balance all aspects of my life. From now on I’ll make an effort to avoid the internal struggle and simply alternate between the two. Some times will call for a time out while others will be spent taking care of things around the house. Mommy loves you and from now one when you give me a break I’ll simply choose.