WARNING: Long post but oh so necessary in case I forget after giving birth.

Mood: Excited but anxious

Energy: Varies

Appetite: Normal

Baby Movement: Yes

Contractions: First real contraction; I think… It happened after lunch on 2/23 then I had one more over an hour later. I believe these are considered false labor contractions rather than Braxton Hicks. But only time will be able to confirm this.

Other: Labor and Delivery

We had yet another scare but this time it wasn’t due to lack of movement. The first trip to L n D was due to not getting 10 kicks in 2hrs when our kid (at that time) used to get all of his movements in about 30ish minutes. All turned out well and he started moving the minute they hooked us up to the monitoring device. The second trip we waited longer because we were trying a bunch of different things to get him to move. Once all of our efforts failed we went in. This time he didn’t move until about 30-40 minutes after he was hooked up to the monitoring device and I had consumed 2 cold beverages (apple juice and water). Then we get to 2/22 which was an all too familiar scare…

On Monday February 22nd around 5:20pm, I went to the bathroom before leaving for dinner. I felt slightly strange so I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and there it was. The tp was completely covered in blood reminiscent of the days when I had a period. It also reminded me of the bleeding scare we had in the beginning except there wasn’t any reason for the bleeding to be triggered because nothing had irritated my cervix. I was completely terrified. It didn’t help that I’d recently read about a lady losing her baby at 38 weeks (stillbirth). I tried to calmly call my hubby but I completely lost it as soon as he came in the bathroom. All I could do was hold out the tissue while crying hysterically. He didn’t even flinch. He immediately grabbed his phone and started looking up the number to L n D. Somehow I managed to direct him to our kick counter card that had the number on it. As I was trying to pull myself together so I could calmly speak, he was on hold with the nurse. I couldn’t seem to stop so he did all of the talking. I answered questions between sobs but wasn’t much use as I wiped a few more times only to see the same horrific sight. I could hear the instructions from the nurse so I got an actual pad to put on. When the whole conversation was done the nurse informed hubby  to proceed to dinner and that if I filled up the pad in an hour to call back or come in immediately. He hung up then relayed the message to me as I stood there dumbfounded that we weren’t instructed to come in… He told me everything she said and reassured me that if it was really bad they’d have said to come in like they did before with the movement. I couldn’t really argue as I knew I was considered full-term and wasn’t having any other signs of losing the baby so we went to dinner.

Upon returning home I couldn’t stand the suspense so I went straight to the bathroom. Imagine my horror when I continued to see red blood. It was true that the amount had greatly decreased but it was still there. I called to hubby again to tell and show him what was there but he reminded me of what the nurse said so I tried to calm myself. I even went over all of the reasons everything was okay. Well none of that stuff worked so I went to the hospital website. Once on the website I searched and searched for something that  would bring me comfort but to no avail. That’s when I did it… I’m not proud of myself but I consulted Dr. Google. Of course I got exactly what you would expect. A whole lot of useless info that ultimately led back to every pregnancy is different and consult your doctor. The only difference is that now hubby was searching equally as hard for an answer so both of us were using Dr. Google. Still unsatisfied I called the one person that I knew would either calm me down or suggest I go in. My mom listened anxiously as I gave her the recap. She said I should listen to my husband but keep an eye on it. She’d gone through the same thing when she was pregnant with my sister and come to find out she was dilated 8cm by the time they went to the hospital after discovering the bleeding. I felt so much better after she said that. I was getting ready to completely relax but I couldn’t shake the paranoid feeling and the what ifs. What if I only have enough time to make it to the hospital before I lose him? What if all I need to do is go in for something simple to stop the bleeding and save him? All those thoughts and more ran through my head.

I finally cracked. I called L n D, explained the situation and was informed that the original nurse that took my hubby’s call was in with a patient so they couldn’t ask her why she made the assessment she did. This nurse went through all the same questions and I told her the bleeding slowed down and was no longer bright red but she said she still wanted to consult the doctor. After what felt like years, she got back on the phone and said the doctor invited us to come in because he wasn’t comfortable with the fact that I had bright red blood without any disturbance to my cervix or any previous issues. The nurse ultimately left the decision to us considering it was no longer red but she did advise we come in. I of course was already getting ready and hubby followed suit. We drove all the way there in complete silence as I was trying to focus on not bleeding or spotting (like I could trick my body into not having an issue). When we finally arrived hubby was stopped at the front and they required him to check in which was new because they usually just let him back and reminded him that he’d need a badge if he decided to leave and come back. So as I walked back there alone I began to cramp. I figured it was due to nerves so I continued on my way. Hubby was finally with me by the time I finished signing paperwork. Once I was checked in I gave the standard sample and was escorted to the room while hubby waited in the lobby. When I was undressed and hooked up to the monitoring devices he was brought to my room. We chatted then turned on the TV as a distraction. When the doctor came to our room quickly I became even more nervous. He asked me questions, verified what the nurses already wrote on my chart and explained to me what he was going to do.

I was a little freaked out that a guy was examining me but I quickly got over this as my back pain was increasing. He brought in a female nurse and started checking everything. He was extremely nice and took the extra step to explain everything as he was doing it so I didn’t get nervous. It truly helped to calm my nerves. He said baby looks fine and there was no active bleeding but he noticed that during my last appointment I was about 2cm. I asked why he noted that and  he said “Oh because you’re about 3cm now and might be why your cervix was irritated”. He continued saying the speed of my dilation along with almost double the amount of blood is probably why I was experiencing the bleeding. He also let me know that I still need to come in any time I see red blood because a diagnosis shouldn’t be given over the phone. Then he and hubby had a quick laugh about how much nicer it’d be if he could examine people remotely without having to come in or get out of his pajamas 🙂 I left the hospital relieved but nervous that it would happen again before delivery. But like always Mr. Incredible (hubby) was calm and comforting. I love this man.

4th L n D trip on 2/26. Long story short we weren’t sure if I were leaking amniotic fluid so we went in. Everything was fine. I was still 3cm with baby in head down position. After this trip I told hubby I am determined to stay away until I believe I am in labor.

Random no picture this week. I took some but they are on someone else’s phone and I’m too lazy to ask them to send it to me. Next week I shall be better. This was just a long crazy week.